Sunday Roundup: What To Do When Your Employees Leave
How we handle when people leave matters
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Leaving a Job
The Great Resignation at the highest of levels has been written about in full display, but nobody talks about the messiness of the transitions between one job and the next. First from employees - who are trying to celebrate and move on to a new opportunity, run away from a job they don’t want, and also perhaps get some rest before they start a new role, On the other, from managers and leaders, who often have a mix of feelings (not all positive) but at the end of the day are often left with figuring out how to proceed and what to do next.
There’s a lot to learn when we drill into these transitions, but often, people miss the forest through the trees, in terms of how they handle the situation, as well as what could be learned to yield better outcomes for the team or company.
My Personal Experience: Trying to Leave a Management Consulting Firm
Back in the summer of 2017, I decided that I wanted to leave consulting to pursue other career opportunities. I started activating my network and interviewing right away. I was making great progress and dodging some staffing opportunities (anyone who has worked in consulting can appreciate this) while also being very strategic with my use of PTO and vacation to avoid getting staffed. I had successfully made my way to second and final rounds at companies during my time unstaffed, which was huge.
Trying to interview while working at a consulting firm is a tricky proposition. In my specific case, I didn’t feel I could tell people that I was looking for a new job and looking to leave for a multitude of reasons. Furthermore, Pre-COVID, it was difficult to job hunt and interview without having to burn through vacation days or PTO, but anyone who has worked at a management consulting firm can also appreciate the extra layer of complexity with travel and client sites. The fact that I had made it this far while not having to go to a client site or be on a hectic project was amazing.
But while I had made good progress, I still didn’t have an offer in hand, and I was running out of excuses to dodge projects. And then I got backed into a corner by my staffing manager: There was a project that needed to start right away that was in the Bay Area, and I was being tagged for it because I had the skill set and background.
The project was going to require a 1.5 hour commute each way. They wanted us on-site 5 days a week, and it was a 10 week engagement with a small team (read: lots of late nights) This was the exact opposite of what I needed.
I tried every trick in the book to get out of getting staffed on this engagement. The partner on the engagement was rather senior, and I think he was getting a sense that I was trying to wiggle my way out of it, so he finally just called me up on the phone to ask what was going on.
Consulting firms are weird in that you don’t have a formal boss that you report to in an org chart. While on each individual project you do have a formal manager, since teams come and go based on projects and clients, you’re constantly changing teams and managers. There is a formal hierarchy structure in terms of titles and responsibilities associated with titles which helps with role definition and alignment. So in my case, I was staring down a phone conversation with a senior Partner at the firm who I had never met or worked with and had never had a previous interaction with. The idea of wanting to tell him my situation at the time without knowing him or having any sense of trust was a bit daunting.
Before I had the conversation, I called my mentor, Kristi, and explained my situation. She encouraged me to be honest about where I was at and what was on my mind, and reminded me that he had a stake in this as well (he was the one who wanted to staff me, and he needed someone to work on this project.)
I decided to take Kristi’s advice, and on the phone, when I spoke to David (the partner) was honest but professional about my situation. I told him I was concerned about joining this project because I had already made the decision that I was ready to move on from the firm and started the formal interviewing process with other companies. I explained I had made it pretty far while I was unstaffed, but was concerned that with the upcoming project, the commute, and the high-burn nature of the engagement, that I wouldn’t be able to get to the next step in my career.
David responded with a lot of positivity and compassion. Instead of being angry, he told me he appreciated my candor, and he respected the position that I was in. He said that he had been in similar situations at previous times in his career, and also reminded me that I wasn’t the first person to leave the firm, or consulting, nor would I be the last.
He told me he understood where I was at, and to help, would promise 3 things:
As long as I did my job well, he wouldn’t ask questions if I needed time off for whatever I needed to do
He’d make sure the manager on the project didn't bother me on Fridays because he knew I’d at least need one day for interviews
He asked me to name the role I wanted on the project, that way, I could have something else to talk about in my interviews
The project was challenging, but as a team, we pulled together and ended up doing good work. It also wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, and I ended up building a good relationship with David as well as the rest of the project team. Since the rest of the team were new hires, I spent part of my time going the extra mile trying to help them understand the ways of working in consulting, and sharing a lot of my own experiences. And to his credit, David honored his commitments, and allowed me the space I needed to keep interviewing without having too many constraints breathing down my neck.
Right before the project was about to end, I got an offer from Salesforce, which I knew I would eventually accept. I remember getting the phone call and thinking to myself that I needed to tell David the news. After telling him, he shook my hand and smiled and said he was happy for me. After the final deliverable was submitted, we went out to a team dinner, and he gave me a toast and thanked me for my contributions.
Leaving The Right Way: Better Together
When you google “how to leave a job” you get advice about making sure you check with the HR policies, that you turn in your laptop and that you remain professional. But nobody tells you how to deal with the nitty gritty reality of having an employee who chooses to leave, and how to handle it in a professional way that doesn’t kill your short term while also balances your long term view.
What I appreciated about David, was that, despite his impending commitments and priorities (delivering the project to the client) he was able to hold space for the fact that I had my own set as well. And even though he could make the argument that his goals and priorities mattered more than mine, he decided to respect and hold space for me, even when nobody told him he had to.
The last few weeks of that project and interviewing for a new job were some of the busiest and most stressful weeks in my consulting career, but I was committed to honoring my commitment to David as well as to landing a new job. Part of this was because I take pride in work that has my name attached to it, but part of this was out of respect for David, and his willingness to respect my own aspirations and goals.
They always say that people remember how you leave, but in my case, I’ll remember the humanity and compassion that David showed me before I left. He could have easily brushed me off or told me to suck it up, but instead, showed respect and empathy. His willingness to approach this as a way that we could work together, allowed both of us to get something we needed, for the short and long term. After I left Deloitte, David and I stayed in touch, and because of the positive experience I had, I helped him staff his next project with a few other colleagues of mine. None of that probably would have happened if he hadn’t taken such a collaborative approach to working towards me.
Tell me if you’ve heard of this situation before or experienced it yourself: An employee decides to leave, interviews, finds a job, and tells their boss to have their boss be blindsided by it all.
Part of the reason why this happens is because of the lack of trust that exists between employees and their managers. According to the HR Software company Lattice, 43% of employees said their career progression and development was put on hold during COVID-19, and among the reasons for this, the #2 reason was the lack of discussion around careers between individuals and their managers. It’s hard (not impossible) to imagine a world where you don’t see someone giving you your two week notice when you know their career goals and aspirations and are helping them work through it.
How to Approach When Your Employees Leave
Play the long game - Careers are long, and you never know when you’re going to reconnect with others. Especially if the person who is leaving is someone you’ll want to work with again, supporting them as they make their transition is great for the long term nature of the relationship. I think it's easy to take this personally when your employee leaves, especially in the heat of the moment. But if you can take a deep breath, focus on the long game, look for other signals, and be compassionate, you’ll be able to navigate the messiness of career transitions for your team.
Don’t Get Caught In The Noise to Miss the Signals - When someone on your team or who reports to you leaves (and especially when it's a surprise) it’s easy to get upset. But it's important to recognize that people are on their own journeys, and need to do their own things, and if they truly are already set on leaving, keeping them around could have its own problems and issues. It’s important to make sure that you block out the noise, so you can hear the signals.
For example, during the conversation I had with David, I had mentioned to him that one of my reservations was the 3 hours a day that I was going to have to commute. He didn’t realize this (he wasn’t based out of the Bay Area) but once I mentioned it to him he was able to get us a travel budget to stay in Palo Alto instead of having to commute 3 hours each day. Staying clear eyed and not getting caught up in the noise can help you keep a difficult situation from a catastrophic situation.
Look For Win-Win - In competitive and capitalistic markets, business is often a zero sum game. Your employees choosing to leave and you managing your team doesn’t have to be viewed the same way. While an employee who is leaving is walking out the door, they might not be ready to give up just yet. Assuming they are a good employee and reasonable person, they might be willing to help you more than you think as you navigate forward.
Thanks for reading, and Have a great week!
Al
What I’ve Read
Top Finding’s From Lattice’s Career Progression Survey (Lattice) “A staggering 76% of employees said they would be somewhat or very likely to leave a company due to feeling dissatisfied with the opportunities available to progress in their careers.”
Americans Are Overworked and Over Work (Buzzfeed) “She feels like her labor isn’t valued and employers have sometimes explicitly said as much, she told me. “I'm constantly having the fact that I'm replaceable just being shoved in my face. If I felt like I mattered, I would care more. I would do a better job,” she said.”
Are You Trying To Retain The Right Employees? (HBR - “The pandemic changed how we work and how we view work. To reverse the tide of the Great Resignation, leaders need to center attention and energy on the conditions that will help employees enthusiastically, rather than reluctantly, stay and thrive — namely, a sense of fit and purpose, a support system at work and in the community, and personalized packages that would be hard to find anywhere else.”
How Leaders Can Help Their Employees See Careers Differently (Fast Company) - “Not every employee will want to self-reflect. It’s important to encourage the process, especially as part of reviewing one’s own performance. Emphasize that the outcome provides long-term benefits to the employee’s career path and the company’s growth.”
What I’ve Listened To
Life Advice: What Makes a Life Worth Living (NPR)?
Future of Work:The Future of Workers Rights (Brave New World Podcast)
Burnout: The Cure For Burnout Isn’t Self-Care (Whitney Johnson Podcast)
Leadership: 7 Steps to Winning Others’ Support (How to Be Awesome at Your Job Podcast)
What I’m Reading This Week
Your Most Passionate Employees May Not Be Your Top Performers (HBR)
Can Crypto Solve The Problems of The Freelance Job Market? (Protocol)
That’s all for this week! If you enjoyed reading this, consider sharing it with a friend!