How to Manage Your Well-Being at Work
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about burnout that resonated with a lot of people. I didn’t want to leave you hanging, so I decided to write one about well-being, and was able to crowdsource some thoughts and ideas from my peers and friends.
It goes without saying that these past two years have been stressful for all of us. We all have our unique challenges, and we all react to stress differently — but we can all benefit from strategies that make it easier to prioritize our well-being.
For a long time, researchers have proven the link between employee well-being and engagement, which generally has resulted in varying degrees of health benefits, corporate wellness programs, and so forth. But the past 20 months have taken a toll collectively on our mental and physical well-being in ways we haven’t had to manage before.
The good news is that in general, companies at large seem to be waking up to the fact that their employees are burned out, struggling with mental health or just plain exhausted, but there is a lot of work to be done. And while it’s great to see that companies like Nike and Microsoft are taking action by literally asking their employees to stop working for periods of time, these are few and far between and it's going to take more than a 4-5 days off of work to adjust and reset from some of the trials and tribulations from the past 18 months.
Admittedly, this brief article won’t solve the issue with corporate well-being, burnout, and mental health in the workplace writ large, but hopefully you’ll leave with a better understanding of the impact that well-being has on you and your team, and some of the tactics you can use either for yourself or with your peers or employees to help them manage their own well being.
What does the research say?
As you might expect, the research on well-being suggests that most companies have a long way to go in terms of thinking about this for their leaders, managers and in general, all of their employees.
In some research from Deloitte, nearly 4 in 10 Millennial and Gen Z employees do not believe their employers have taken actions to support their mental well-being during the pandemic.
Only 38% of millennials and 35% of Gen Zs said they’ve spoken openly with their supervisors about the stress they’re feeling.
Just 41% of managers check in on the well-being of their employees regularly, and more than 50% of employees have never brought up personal matters with their managers.
According to HBR, despite the fact that over 200 million workdays are lost due to mental health conditions each year ($16.8 billion in employee productivity), mental health remains a taboo subject. In fact, almost 60% of employees have never spoken to anyone at work about their mental health status.
Over the years, I’ve had the chance to work for managers and leaders who I thought did take steps to try to talk to employees about well-being in the workplace or to design programs + policies to help us manage our own well-being. Central to this was four key themes
An acknowledgement and genuine belief that sustained high performance (and achieving desired outcomes) only happens when people have time to rest and energize themselves
Creating open space and the trust + collaboration needed for managers and employees to discuss well-being and mental related issues
A genuine care and concern for the well-being of the individuals
Modeling, championing and rewarding the behaviors and outcomes that leaders are hoping to see (ex: if you say and want people to rest, you as the leader need to go on PTO and not check your phone or respond to emails)
Being able to perform at your best and use your full talents requires that you have an environment that allows you to rest and recharge. But larger even for those of us who have the ability to do this, the past 18 months have thrown a curveball after curveball (ex: the delta variant)
Even for those of us who do feel safe either because we are out of harm's way, are vaccinated or have in place strong public health measures we have been going at this for a long time that whether we realize it or not, our bodies and energy are depleted after going at this for the past 18 months. Amy Cuddy, recently wrote about the pandemic flux syndrome, and how it’s impacting our minds and bodies ability to be at its best self. The author writes,
Cuddy also attributes the extreme fatigue many of us are feeling to our body’s depleted surge capacity — an adaptive survival response to help us get through times of heightened stress. While helpful for short spurts, surge capacity is not meant to become our home base. Living in a constant state of stress — like 18 months of a pandemic — drains our surge capacity, and without adequate time to rest and recover, our bodies can’t keep up.
My Personal Story: Waking Up to Well-Being
After going through a 3 month project that I didn’t enjoy, I was tired, anxious, eating poorly and generally stressed about my job. It was at that point where I realized that I needed to make some changes. I took a look at my daily and weekly calendar of things I was doing, as well as my regular exercise, diet, and social activity habits. The data was pretty bad. As a consultant, traveling and long hours can make things difficult to live a healthy and balanced life but it isn't an excuse. At that point, I decided to take action
I committed myself to optimizing my time outside of work for energy and well-being. This meant eating healthier, going to bed at a reasonable hour, and making a commitment to some sort of exercise at 5 days a week
I signed up for a half marathon, which gave me a reason to exercise each week but also served as a very tangible goal to hit
I made a list of activities and things that gave me energy. On this list included things like going for a run, talking to friends and family, having coffee with a friend, reading on Saturday mornings, and each week, I would try to make sure I did as many of these as I could.
I talked with my therapist as a means to hold myself accountable to the outcomes I wanted to work toward, and each week, we would spend time talking about how I was doing
Eventually, I got to a much healthier mental and physical state and even managed to lose the weight that I had put on. More than that, I had more energy than I ever had before and I just generally started feeling happier and more positive on a day to day basis. Up until that point, I think I had sort of just put my health on autopilot and kind of relied on being young and moderately athletic and resilient, but in that moment is when I realized that I had to proactively manage my well-being.
Community Feedback
While companies and managers must do the work to create a culture and workplace where people feel safe, employees do have some agency over how they can respond and steps they can take to try to manage their own well-being on a day to day basis. Doing this is not easy, nor is it something that comes out of a textbook, so I decided to ask some of my friends about how they managed their own well-being. My hope is that some of these strategies and tactics are helpful as you think about your own well-being in the workplace.
When Well-Being is Out of Balance
Q: What’s a time when you felt like you lost control of your well-being? What happened, or what contributed to it?
Brad: A lack of genuine empathy (when bandwidth is an issue) immediately comes to mind. I've had times where I've worked longggg hours and a manager or colleague says something like "it can wait until tomorrow, just close your laptop!" which is quite off the mark, but it's assuming that by ignoring something it will magically go away. It feels like a half-assed (not sure if you can swear in the article lol) because it's just words with no meaning or action behind them.
Meredith: When I recognized there was some kind of rule that wasn't being told but was something I had to follow or get in trouble. Lack of clarity as to what were the roles or responsibilities and how they worked together. Having an unclear navigation within the team dynamics that had negative repercussions. When I couldn't be honest.
Holly: Before working in tech I worked in the financial services industry. I don’t want to overgeneralize because I know not everyone is like this but in general it tended to be fairly buttoned up, and there wasn’t a lot of room or space to talk about feelings, especially when you were struggling for whatever reason. I went through a series of personal events in my life that were really difficult and it was showing up in my work to the point where I was performing significantly less than I was accustomed to. Not feeling like I could talk about this with my teammates or my manager really impacted me and made my own condition deteriorate. I’m a leader of people now, and often think back to that experience and wonder at times if I am ever creating a space like that for my employees. It’s why I try when possible to speak openly and authentically about what’s going on through both the ups and downs and I hope it gives my people the space to be honest as well.
Al: During 2013, I was on Boylston Street in Boston when an explosion went off. We would later come to know this as the Boston Marathon Bombings. I was fortunate in that I was safe and okay, but the day itself left some trauma and startling thoughts and feelings for weeks to come. I did my best to shoulder on at work but eventually it became too much to handle, and often felt numb and anxious. Eventually, my manager sensed something was up (she was aware of what had happened) and during a 1:1 she told me to close my laptop and go and to just email or text her when I felt like I was in a safer and better place. I ended up booking a flight to stay with a friend in a sunny and warm area for two weeks and didn't think about work. I came back feeling much better, and grateful that I had a manager who not only was looking out for me, but was able to help me do something about it when I didn’t at first have the gumption to do so.
James: I have struggled with my own mental and physical well being at various parts during the past 18 months. Between having to manage a team, two kids and a wife who is an essential worker (Nurse,) there has always been some form of something that I have had to think about and be mindful about each and every day. It’s a lot to bear and I think what hindered me at first is the fact that because I have so many roles where I felt like people were relying on me to be the strong person and “leader” during a difficult time, I almost felt like I could never fully “feel” all of the feelings I truly had. Over the summer I hit a breaking point and something had to give. Fortunately, my in-laws (who had been vaccinated) were able to come over and for a week to help with the kids while I took some time away by myself so I could just get a hold on what was going on. In addition to having time to rest (mentally and physically) I began journaling and just trying to write down my thoughts and feelings that I was experiencing. Doing so was incredibly cathartic, and also a wake up call that even with everything that I have going on there is immense value in just stopping everything to name your thoughts and feelings before figuring out how to proceed.
When Well-Being Was Working
Q: What's an example of when you felt you had a good sense of well-being at work? What contributed to it?
Meredith: The best I've ever felt at work that gave me a sense of well-being was when I was able to talk about things that were going on in my personal life without the fear of it being used against me. Just being able to say "this outside work thing is impacting my brain space" and knowing that I could adjust how much communication I did with managers, how much I had to be in extraneous meetings, etc. It was the ability to just name the situation and the autonomy of adjusting my calendar to fit the needs for me and the team for that time period. We did a red/yellow/green stand up which just helped everyone know what was happening and what their capacity was.
David: One of my old managers used to start every 1:1 with his direct reports with a question of “how are you doing?” When I first started working for him, I used to answer with the general platitudes, but he would prod me further (gently) to actually truly understand how I was doing. Over time, I began to trust him that when he asked he genuinely cared to know, and became much more comfortable with letting him know how things were going not just with my work but just in general. It felt good knowing that my manager seemed to care about me.
Al: When I was a consultant, I once worked on a project that at times had a lot of hours/work output due. One of the things the engagement manager did was to make it clear that even though we were expected to meet the client expectations and produce the deliverables upon the statement of work, if there was ever any down time that we could (and should) take advantage of it by turning off and unplugging and that he would see to that we could. To his credit, he honored that statement, and was easily one of the favorite engagement managers amongst my peers. A lot of times I think there is an unsaid expectation that you always have to be on, and I’m really glad he communicated up front that when we needed to be on, we would need to be “on” but outside of that we could use our judgment to do what we needed to do in order to rest/recharge.
Another thing that has always helped me was having managers and teammates who I could talk to about the realities of life, and work. Let’s face it, not all of life and work is rainbows and butterflies, and knowing that there were people around who I could talk to when I was having a tough day, when a project wasn’t working out the way I wanted, or when I was dealing with an issue or challenge is always super helpful. During COVID-19, I had a few people on my team who I knew I could go to in order to talk about anything, and we would have a bi-weekly meeting just to talk to each other and check in with one another to see how each other was doing. This definitely made me feel much better and like I had support through difficult times.
Holly: One of the people on our extended team is a fitness instructor and during the first few months of COVID-19 she started sending out a weekly email about different things we could all do on our own time to keep up with our physical well-being and exercise. A few weeks later, someone else on our team had a sibling who was a therapist who offered to join our team call to talk about some meditation exercises. Finally, when our company decided to offer extended wellness benefits, someone started a email thread about different ideas for how to use those benefits. In and of themselves, these are not revolutionary things, but what I appreciated about it is that it was a way to bring the team together and for people to not only share openly what they were doing but also to help one other. I feel like well-being is something that is becoming more “okay” to talk about but only in a 1:1 setting either with someone you trust or a manager. By facilitating this in a group setting I think it set a really healthy tone for our team that this was something that we all should invest in.
How I Manage My Well-Being
Q: What are ways, tactics, or tools you use to manage your own well-being for your job/career that you have found helpful?
Brad: Taking lunch breaks without my work laptop in front of me
Meredith: Calendar blocking for my own mental health, being OK not answering after a certain time and knowing how things will work if I don't, creating an open line of communications with my team in my capacity and setting realistic expectations on delivery. Using communications norms & expectations that were set up across the team so that we didn't have to infer and potentially bias our reactions to someone's actions (if they didn't show up to a meeting we knew it was because of some other reason). Bosses protecting the energy of the team.
Holly: During the summer months of 2020, someone on my team made a “well-being” bingo card. Basically, it was a bingo card full of things that she did to manage her well-being, and she shared it with the rest of our team. It was a really awesome idea, and our team lead actually encouraged each single person on our team to create our own well-being bingo card. On my bingo card were things like “taking a walk and calling my mom” and “going for a run” but I think the bigger thing is just that people took the time to think about what they needed in order to be effective and to make sure they were getting time to do that.
Al: One of the things that always gives me energy is making time to go for walks and to listen to podcasts, so I always try to do that each day. I also am someone who loves staying in touch with people in my life, and I always get a lot of energy and excitement from being able to stay in touch with friends and family. Even during COVID, being able to text someone or catch up with someone via email was always a small boost that gave me a smile or another shot of energy. For longer periods of time, having a nice morning where I have interrupted time just to let my mind wander and reflect always did wonders. On weekends, I would often use that time and space to let my brain rest from my day job and to be creative in other ways.
The last thing isn’t really a tactic, but more of a mindset shift. I kind of just realized that “work is always going to be there.” I think for a longtime in my career I was focused on trying to stay on top of everything and to always try to find ways/hacks to get ahead. But that ended up turning into a never ending treadmill with no end in sight. Learning that the work was always going to be there gave me permission to turn things off and to come back to them the next day or at the beginning of the next week, and to allow my mind to shut down and rest.
James: One of the things you wrote about Al that I didn’t realize I was doing but has made a lot of difference is by thinking about my work environment. I am really intentional about how I structure my days, when I have meetings and making sure I can carve out time to do the work I need to do. I also have worked on this with my spouse for things we have to do at home (Ex: admin stuff, kids, etc)
There's so many ways to get distracted (at work and outside of work) that I had to get a better handle on setting myself up to actually do the work that I needed to do. Things don’t always work out exactly the way that I want them, but it's definitely much better than the schedule I used to have.
Brian: I like to think of things in terms of days/weeks/months
Daily - Before I go to bed I write down the things I am grateful for that day
Weekly - I make sure to exercise at least 3-4 days a week. Anything more than that is great, anything less than that I know that I don’t operate at my best. I also schedule in my calendar to try to make sure I actually do it
Monthly - I have a monthly recurring Zoom call with some of my peers from b-school where we talk about what’s up and how things are going.
Conclusion
We often use sports metaphors as a means for motivation and inspiration for how to model or act in the workplace and in life. This has a lot of benefits but one of the things that we often overlook with sports and athletes of the highest caliber is that they often spend a lot of time working on rest and relaxation.
Taking care of your own well-being is one of the many things that you can do to be the best version of yourself. And while this doesn’t mean your company shouldn’t be actively looking to find ways to improve well-being in the workplace, doing what you can to manage your well-being (and if you are a manager, the well-being of your team)