Finding and Sharing Your Voice
Quick reflections from a speaking event on speaking up and self-advocacy
This week, I was in New York to speak at an event hosted by the Asians at YouTube Employee Resource Group in conjunction with the Asian Employee Resource Groups from Spotify, Nike, Universal and Amazon. The topic of the event was around influence and self-advocacy, and why it matters for your career.
The humility and gratitude that comes with being the person on stage speaking at an event like this is not something that is lost on me. As I’ve written about previously, much of my journey into this space as a speaker, researcher, and facilitator on leadership development comes from my own lived experiences of not knowing how to do these things earlier in my career.
During my first professional job at Deloitte, I struggled at first, but through learning from other mentors and leaders, speaking up and being an advocate of myself was what eventually took me from a below average performer to a high performer in those early roles.
Eventually, other people started asking me how to do these things, which led to other opportunities, first by taking on additional responsibilities in my day job like leading new hire training and internal leadership development initiatives, which began this self-fulfilling cycle.
The more I spoke up, advocated for my work, and shared my knowledge and ideas, the more opportunities inside the firm I got. Eventually, it led to outside of work initiatives like starting a blog, podcast, writing a book, and eventually, starting my own leadership development consulting business.
It is rewarding and humbling to be able to share my story, not because I feel I am an expert, but because everything I share are the things I had to do to make it up on that stage to deliver that message. The messages and ideas I share are the things that helped me navigate the spaces and places I’ve been in since those early days.
And in many ways, while they matter a lot when you had to find a way to stand out when you were in high-performing organizations like the ones I was a part of, they matter just as much now as an entrepreneur trying to build a sustainable business today. I still practice the same things I speak about that are important in a large corporate organization because they matter even more when you don’t have the infrastructure that comes with that organization.
People often ask me if I get nervous before I go on stage and speak, and the answer is that normally I do not. Sure, leading up there’s a little bit of jitters and butterflies, but once I am up there I’m locked in.
This time was different, in that when I got on stage and looked out into the crowd, for one of the very first times, everyone who was looking at me, looked like me.
Seeing 90+ Asian Americans in the audience was such a meaningful and rewarding feeling, because over the years in talking with thousands of people, I know how hard these topics are for all people, but in particular, those who share a cultural and ethnic upbringing like mine.
In my experience, a lot of people of all backgrounds struggle with the idea about self-advocacy, sharing your work, and self-promotion, but especially in cultures where some of the critical values of the culture and background, go against many of those topics.
When you grow up in cultures and families hearing messages that prioritize being humble, working hard, keeping to yourself, and prioritizing the collective over the individual, the idea of proactively putting yourself into the spotlight of others can seem countercultural and daunting. In many ways, it is a narrative violation of the thousands of messages that you consciously and unconsciously hear from people who you admire, respect, or whose beliefs and actions you yourself want to model.
Family is strong in Asian culture. Many of us want to make our families proud, but also have to reckon with the lived realities of the spaces and systems we have to operate within, especially when it comes to systems that quite frankly, were not always designed for us. How you make sense of doing this can be a tricky dance, for wanting to honor the things you know make you who you are, with truly understanding the person that you want to be. In my own experience, this has been the tension I’ve had to dance with to become who I am.
During the session, in addition to providing some guidance on how to speak up and be your own advocate, we had some of the audience members share how they navigated challenges with speaking up and self-promotion, and some time to share ideas with peers about how we could all find more ways to build our own social capital within our organizations and in our careers. I couldn’t help but be inspired, to hear what some people, many of whom are early in their career already know and are doing to advocate for themselves, and for others.
After the event finished, we had a happy hour where I spent a few hours getting to chat with the folks who attended the event. What was so impactful to me was hearing from different people what part of my talk resonated with them, and what it brought up for them as they reflected on their current state in their work and career.
One of the biggest takeaways I had from it stems from a lesson that I shared in the talk - Your story and your talent matters, and you should share it with others. When others know what you are good at and how you can help, they can help you find opportunities to do just that.
For me, that was getting involved with training and developing others, as well as writing a book and starting a blog. All of those interactions of sharing my talents were actions that lead to the stages I speak on today. For me, it was starting a side-hustle/business, blogging and writing, but it could be something else for all of you. But the point is, we all have talent, and speaking up is a way of making it accessible to others.
A number of people I spoke with brought up different parts of the talk that resonated with them, and how it was inspiring them to speak up, advocate for themselves, or focus on building relationships with other people.
What was so interesting to me, is that so much of the struggle comes from deep stuff around the intersection of cultural identity, and making sense of living in alignment between the realities of today and the values you were taught. Finding the answers to these questions is not easy, but from my own experience I can tell you that going on the journey to make sense of this, something that I have done over the years is incredibly meaningful and worthwhile.
A big thank you to the Asians at YouTube ERG for hosting this event, and for giving me this meaningful opportunity to speak up, and share my own talents. My hope is that you all feel inspired to share yours.
PS - I’ve compiled all my favorite career development resources in one place. Save this and share it if you find it useful!
Up Next in April: After a busy few months of being on the road, I’ll be mostly “grounded” in Los Angeles and delivering virtual programs to a handful of clients around leading without authority, new manager training, and leading hyrid/virtual teams. If these types of topics resonate with you and your organization, I’d love to chat.
Before You Go:
May is National Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month in the United States, and I'd love to come speak to your organization.
I have a favor to ask: If you enjoy what I write about and share, and think your company would benefit, especially on topics related to leadership, and professional development, I’d love an introduction to your AAPI Employee Resource Group or HR team. Feel free to reply if you’d be interested directly or if you’d be open to helping with an intro. I’m grateful for your support.
Thank you!
Al